Pee pee on meeeee

No i don't personally have a wee fetish... well maybe. I've dreamt about it enough recently... hence why its becoming a blog posting!

What is there to like?

Warm smelly wee. I. Don't. Get. It.

I honestly really don't like the smell of wee, so why would I want someone to do it on me? Why? I'd like to end my blog here but I feel i should cater for those who might be interested in actually reading about it or even doing it!

Ok here goes.

Pee on people if you want to and if they want you to. If they don't want you to and you do it, you might end up waking up next to a turd on your pillow. Don't ask... and if you need to, ask a girlfriend of mine called Alice Murray.

Some people apaz like to be pee'd on whilst wearing their clothes... some like it naked and some people have a fetish for watching people wee or wetting themselves.

To be honest im too scared to look at pictures.  But i bet you sickos want to look at some so I'll find some... just for you lot hahahaha....

Her peeing on her, in the mouth ???

Him peeing on her, well doesn't she look pleased with herself!

Her peeing on him, not sure why the mask...

Her being caught peeing...

And her peeing her pants....

I have to be honest, I don't see it? I don't get the appeal. Maybe someone can tell me? I just typed in pee fetish on Google and it came up with a girl asking if it was normal to like to hold her pee in as it felt nice... and someone replied that she could get an infection from holding in for too long and to maybe instead of this she could try watching her pets pee instead.

I'm sorry but that's it I feel I've delved enough.

You either like it or you hate it. Try it if you want but don't pee near me cheers.

Urm... I've got a headache.. a tummyache.. just don't touch me.

Yawn.... I'm not in the mood. No its nothing to do with how i feel about you and no its not because I'm shagging someone else, I'm just not feeling it tonight ok?

We humans can only perform so much, this is why I've been a tad quiet on my blog. I haven't been in the mood to even write it! I'm not a performing seal, you don't get to click your fingers and I'll come running.

Sex shouldn't be expected, sometimes its nice to just hold and tease but not go any further so put your peckers away and wait for when we are in the mood! What ever happened to just some nice cuddles and kisses huh?

I guess it is the old cliche of 'Sorry babe I've got a headache tonight' ... To be honest if you hear that chances are it's not true, she or he just doesn't want any, but like i said that's not forever, its for that moment in time. And no you can't really do anything to change that feeling... Well you can sometimes, if we say we're tired, try give us a foot rub or a massage, do something nice to take away the pressure, and you might... MIGHT get somewhere because you've pleased us and taken away some pressure. I doubt it but if you're that desperate you'll try anything...

Don't whine like a little bitch and make it all about you! If you are that bothered you have a hand go use it. At least you only have to be concerned with making yourself come.

Someone asked 'what do you do to make yourself feel sexy if you don't?'... answer we don't. Why should we? Just to please you?

Ok, so say the footies on or the rugby or something that you want to watch... or say you're mates have invited you out.. and we girls want a little something something before you go out or in the middle of your programme? Would you go out of your way when your not in the mood to please us? Answer. NO!

We might not want sex for a number of reasons, mainly just because we are tired... but sometimes your moves are so standard or monotonous... Well... if I don't tell you the truth you will just go on thinking what you're doing in acceptable! It could be because we have just come off a period or are just coming on, it could just be because you have done nothing to make us feel sexy before hand... you don't drink a cup of tea without making it wet first, so don't do the same to us!

And yes when we are not feeling sexy of course we are look for different things... just stay away, don't creep! Get it into your head that you are not going to get any that night or day or when ever you've come sniffing! But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try again the next day, Jesus we're not that harsh and if we have been off it for a while let us approach you!

Like I've said before if we don't want it, its not because we've cheated, chances are if we'd cheated you would get some just so you don't get suspicious!! Hahaha c'mon that's just common knowledge don't judge me!

Role play

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Cunnilingus....... You know going down on your lady???

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Not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean.

Sooooo, the title says it all really, does size matter when it comes to your tackle fellas?

Some say no, of course not.... they are liars! For god sake if we cant feel anything then of course that's no good! And for people who tell you its not all about sex, they are delusional.Yes there are other things you can do to combat this issue like use your hands or tongue or even man up and use a dildo on her.... but for god sake please don't try and blame it on us for having a large vajj. IT JUST WONT WORK.

Seriously please don't think that because you drive a nice car or wear nice clothes or talk the talk, that you think that at the end of the night it will be acceptable to pop a maggot sized penis out of your boxers! If you know you have this issue then at least try to pre warn us so we are not left struggling not to laugh or even walk out on you! Ok I am actually joking (to an extent), personally I'd never laugh or walk out I have to many flaws of my own to be judging anyone else however you MUST make up for this is another way... i have no arse mehh what you going to do about it? But i do have a fab pair of yes fake tits! See I made something good hahaha

So you might not have a big dick, get over it, buy a dick pump (not actually sure if these work) or just make sure as ive said before that you use other parts of your body to make up for it.

Most women say that they'd like a big dick though... LIARS!! You'd run a fucking mile if a man with a dick the size of a horse came (literally) at you! So wheres the happy medium?

Uk average penis size for a man is 5inches... AVERAGE ok so if you're just under or just over cool!

I took a look at average penis size around the world too....

Ok great so that tells us that on average most men come in at around 5 inches across the world! So UK men well done you fit in nicely!

Now i know I've said of course size matters but its not just about length its about girth too guys i don't want something as thin as a pencil and, i know, i know its out of your control and I'm a little bit sorry if I've offended anyone reading this but the way men can scrutinize every detail of what they look for in a woman, big boobs, big bum, long legs, brown hair, blonde hair, small boobs, black, white, asian.... I think its only fair that one of our requirments is to own something more than enough on a fully erect penis!

That is just not acceptable, please if you know you have this don't come near me! I can't work with this and nor could a lot of other girls! If its as small as my eye ball what use is that?

I know I'm coming across as fussy but I'm honestly speaking the truth from what a lot of women say! And yes its hurtful but its rude of you to think we should have to put up with it! If we got a bit chubby you'd have no problem telling us... ok maybe a bad example because of course we can change our weight!

Men don't think that there are loads of stallions out there! If you hear of a mate boasting about the size of his pecker chances are he's a big fat fibber less than 0.3% of men have anything more than 8inches and if they do they probably so ugly they never get to use it anyways.... that was a poor attempt of trying to make you feel better, my bad.

Although ive said size matters, it IS more important with what you can do with it! If you have a 5inch penis and you have no clue what you're doing get da hell outta my bed! Bring me someone who can please me and so be it if you only have 3inches erect.... *cough*

Nope I can't lie... size matters guys... now where has the biggest average? See you ladies in France.